Generated by whisper.cpp

[00:00] Let's pray and then we'll get started. Father, just thank you for this beautiful day.
[00:02] Thank you for this time at the park, thank you for all those who came out today.
[00:08] It's just wonderful to see everybody.
[00:10] And Father, as we speak about this, the tongue, and we think about the descriptive terms you use for it,
[00:17] Father, just convict us, teach us, and then help us to do the things you want us to do.
[00:24] We love you, Jesus Christ, great man.
[00:26] Chapter 3, verse 1 through 12, let me read it.
[00:30] "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.
[00:37] For we all stumble in many ways, and if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.
[00:46] If we put bits into the mouths of horses so they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well.
[00:51] Look at the ships also, though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder.
[00:58] Whatever the will of the pilot directs, so also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.
[01:05] How great a force is to set ablaze by such a small fire, and the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness.
[01:13] The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.
[01:21] For every kind of beast and bird of reptile and sea creature can be tamed, and has been tamed, by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue.
[01:29] It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God.
[01:37] From the same mouth come blessing and cursing, my brothers. These things ought not to be.
[01:42] Does the spring pour forth from the same opening, both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs?
[01:50] Neither. Can a salt pond yield fresh water?
[01:55] I don't know, right? James kind of starts off, you know, not really too harsh, just kind of saying, "Hey, here's what we have," and then tears into people's lives, right, about the tongue.
[02:08] And so obviously, remember he's speaking to the people, he's speaking to other believers, and they are spread out, right?
[02:13] They're all spread out because of, you know, these hardships that they're going through.
[02:18] You have people that are, you know, obviously the church is growing, but there's persecution, and so the church is spread out.
[02:25] And, you know, James is speaking even to these people, and I find that fascinating, right, because you would think, like, I feel like in our day, if a church is persecuted, right, and spread out, most people would then preach on things that would be, you know, super encouraging, right?
[02:39] And James is like, "Hey, I know you're going through a lot of hard times," and, you know, but watch your mouth, right, because the tongue is a great evil, right?
[02:49] And so he says that because it's important no matter what our season of life and no matter what we're going through, right?
[02:55] Things are going well, it matters what we say. Things are going bad, it matters what we say, right?
[03:03] So right off the bat, he basically is just saying that the tongue is small, but has great power, right?
[03:11] And he uses the things, he uses some illustrations. I mean, look, he says this, he says, well, first, let's start at verse 2.
[03:19] He says, "We all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble," what he says is that he is a perfect man, also able also to bridle his whole body.
[03:26] What he's saying there is that there are no perfect people, because he can't bridle the tongue.
[03:30] If you could, if you could bridle the tongue, right, you would be like the most righteous, you would be perfect, because, right, from the tongue, the heart speaks.
[03:42] And so if you're bridling your tongue and your tongue is right, it probably is your heart is right, and so James is saying that's how this little thing, though, has big implications.
[03:51] If you could bridle your tongue, all right, you would be a perfect person.
[03:56] And then he uses examples, look, we put bits into the mouths of horses, they obey us, we guide their whole bodies.
[04:01] Look at the ships, although they are so large and driven by strong winds, they are guided by a small rudder.
[04:07] I was looking for an illustration about that, and I was just like, I think it was World War II, that, was it a German ship? I don't know, maybe you could look it up, I didn't write it down, but it's, the rudder got stuck in war, and all it could do is this, which is circling, right?
[04:23] This big ship on, then rudder, rudder got jammed, ship circled, all right, that's not good, if you're in war, you don't want your ship just circling, okay?
[04:33] It didn't go well for them, but he's saying that the small item can have a huge impact, and so also the tongue, as a small member, yet boasts great things, and you think about that, right?
[04:49] People form their opinions based off your words.
[04:55] They determine your intelligence by your words.
[05:01] Relationships are began and ended by words.
[05:08] With our tongue, we can kind of draw people in, or we can push them away.
[05:16] Think about the words that have changed your life.
[05:20] I love you.
[05:22] I'm so proud of you.
[05:25] We want you.
[05:29] What about the other words?
[05:30] You're not very good, you're worthless, you've never done anything good, we're moving in a different direction, I want to break up, all right?
[05:41] All because of words, all because of this small organ on our mouth, this tongue.
[05:48] Your best relations came about, most likely through words, and your most broken relationships became that way through words.
[05:59] The tongue is small, but it has crazy power.
[06:07] I want you to think about that, I want you to think about the words that you have used in healing relationships, or making relationships.
[06:17] I want you to think about the words you've used to hurt relationships.
[06:25] I think when you think about Christ, when you think about Jesus living on his earth, think about his words.
[06:35] I don't mean his commands, I mean just his words, his interaction with people.
[06:41] Even in his most strict voice, when he was telling truth to people, the religious leaders, we know that he would battle the religious leaders.
[06:51] And in those battles, he spoke truth, but it was never hatred.
[07:01] And so, James is saying, listen, be careful, because although it's small, we don't think about it, because it's just part of our lives, so we don't think about the tongue very often, in relation to our words.
[07:11] We just say, we just do, but it's like a rudder on a ship, or like a bit in a horse's mouth.
[07:21] It then goes into this harsh description of the tongue.
[07:29] And I'm going to read it again, and what I want you to do is think about, is this me?
[07:34] Do I do this in the sense of, is my tongue a small fire?
[07:40] Do I create havoc with it in my family, in my job?
[07:47] Look what he says, "How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire."
[07:51] We know this, right?
[07:52] California wildfires, the fire in Hawaii was at Maui, right?
[07:58] They started small, and they didn't end up destroying so much.
[08:03] The tongue, verse 6, is a fire.
[08:06] It doesn't say it's like a fire, it is a fire.
[08:09] A world of unrighteousness.
[08:14] Do you think that about yourself?
[08:15] Do you think that about yourself?
[08:17] It's a fire, it's a world of unrighteousness.
[08:20] The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life.
[08:29] You say, "Well, it seems kind of overreaching the entire course of life."
[08:33] But if you think about it, marriages are undone because of words often.
[08:41] They start with mean words to our spouse.
[08:47] And it might build from there, and bad other things might happen, but often times, not always, but often times, it's our tongue that starts it.
[09:00] Then our marriage falls apart, and our whole course of life now has changed.
[09:08] He says, "The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.
[09:15] "For every kind of beast and bird and reptile and sea creature can be tamed, and has been tamed by mankind."
[09:22] Do you know any odd animals that have been tamed?
[09:24] Have you ever seen an odd animal?
[09:25] Because we think dogs, they're easy to tame.
[09:29] Raccoon.
[09:30] Raccoon. Have you seen a tame raccoon?
[09:31] Yeah, they enjoyed having raccoons.
[09:34] I wrote a camel.
[09:37] That was tame.
[09:37] I guess they're kind of poor writing to some degree, but I don't know.
[09:40] Do they come out tamed?
[09:40] I don't know.
[09:41] Does anybody know a camel?
[09:42] Or do they have to tame a camel?
[09:44] I don't even know. Anybody know?
[09:46] I'm an elephant. I've seen an elephant.
[09:48] What's that?
[09:48] That's anything I want, but really, still.
[09:50] Oh, really?
[09:50] Okay, so there's some training that has to go in to get him to move.
[09:53] Oh, cute.
[09:54] Yeah.
[09:55] Cats can't be trained because they're on the devil.
[10:04] No, I'm just kidding.
[10:05] Not Milo.
[10:07] Sorry.
[10:08] I can't get any of that.
[10:11] Just kidding, Jordan. Just kidding.
[10:12] Is that how I use my words?
[10:16] But he says here that everything can be tamed except the tongue.
[10:23] It is a restless evil full of deadly poison.
[10:30] Just saying it's impossible to tame.
[10:32] Right now, we don't have it because we can't tame our tongue.
[10:35] Have you ever tried?
[10:36] Ever tried to say, I just need to go a week without, you know,
[10:39] maybe you're the type that, you know, likes you cutting words.
[10:43] I just need to go a week as soon as somebody does something to you.
[10:47] Right?
[10:48] You don't know.
[10:50] Right. We want to just lash out because it can't be tamed.
[10:56] You know, or, you know, we come to church and we hear a conversation about the tongue
[11:00] and we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[11:01] You know, I'm going to do better with that word.
[11:03] I'm going to do better with tongue.
[11:03] And then we go out there and we get, you know, we get into a garter and,
[11:07] you know, somebody cuts us off in traffic, you know, an hour after the church service.
[11:11] All right.
[11:13] You some, right.
[11:15] And it's all, it's all gone because we can't tame the tongue.
[11:20] And that's nothing new.
[11:21] We know that.
[11:23] If we are honest with ourselves, man, we can't, it will, we will struggle even
[11:28] in our conversation after church right here when we eat lunch together is to say,
[11:34] or even, you know, wherever to tame the tongue in that moment, we'll say something.
[11:41] We'll do something.
[11:45] And then pick up, but James says that, hey, can't be tongue.
[11:47] And then look what he says in verse nine to 12.
[11:49] He says this, with it, we bless our Lord and father and with it,
[11:52] we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.
[11:56] I mean, think about that.
[11:59] Right. We'll sing and we'll sing and raise hands and we'll praise God.
[12:03] We'll pray and say we love you father, and then we'll go out and curse.
[12:10] This is the people that God made in the, in his likeness.
[12:13] I mean, I don't necessarily mean curse as in just literally swear.
[12:17] So that's part of it.
[12:19] This is how we talk to them.
[12:23] He says, with it, we bless our Lord and father and with it,
[12:25] we curse people who are made in the likeness of God from the same mouth,
[12:28] come blessing and cursing.
[12:30] My brothers, these things ought not to be so.
[12:35] And what are you doing?
[12:39] This is not for us.
[12:40] That is not how Christ followers should be living.
[12:45] From the same mouth comes blessing and cursing.
[12:48] Oh, sorry. Verse 11 doesn't send in easy examples.
[12:51] Does spring, does the spring pour forth from the same opening,
[12:54] both fresh and salt water?
[12:55] These aren't right.
[12:56] We know the answer.
[12:57] No, it doesn't.
[12:59] Can a fake tree, my brothers, bear olives?
[13:01] No, it can't.
[13:03] Or a grapevine produce fakes?
[13:04] No, it can't.
[13:06] And neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.
[13:11] And he's saying here, what he's trying to say here, right?
[13:15] I think, especially when he says all these things about fake tree
[13:20] and olives not being on the same tree, he's saying, listen,
[13:25] if you are saying one thing, but you say you believe another thing,
[13:32] that's an indication of your heart, right?
[13:35] Your words are always-- listen, if you don't write anything down,
[13:38] write this down.
[13:39] Your words are always the best indicator, right,
[13:44] of the state of your heart.
[13:47] You want to know your heart?
[13:49] And I don't mean necessarily verbal words.
[13:51] That's a big one, right?
[13:53] The words that we have going in our heads,
[13:54] because some of you are introverts.
[13:56] You don't say a lot.
[13:58] But you have a lot going on up here, right?
[14:01] You have a lot in your hearts thinking about things.
[14:03] The single best indicator of the state of our heart is our words.
[14:10] Now, how do I know that?
[14:12] Because Jesus said it.
[14:14] Luke 6.45, he said this, "For out of the abundance of the heart,
[14:20] his mouth speaks."
[14:22] That's Jesus' words.
[14:24] "For out of the abundance of the heart."
[14:25] So when we say things, right, you ever hear somebody go,
[14:29] I don't know where that came from, you know?
[14:31] I hear, I can't believe I said that.
[14:33] Comes with a heart?
[14:36] That's where it's coming from.
[14:37] And Jesus also said, listen, because words indicate our heart,
[14:47] Jesus was very concerned about that.
[14:49] And he said this in Matthew.
[14:50] He said, "Every idle word will be brought into judgment."
[14:53] Think about that.
[14:54] How often have we thought about that?
[14:57] And I was remiss, and I was able to prepare.
[14:59] And I thought, I don't think I think that very often.
[15:03] Every idle word, not when we're mad, or not when we're in good mood,
[15:10] not when we're in good mood, every idle word
[15:12] will be brought into judgment.
[15:13] I mean, think about that.
[15:18] We stand before a holy God, and everything that we have said,
[15:21] every idle word that we've issued, every mean thing we said to somebody
[15:25] will come up again.
[15:27] Now you say, OK, well, I thought Christ died for us.
[15:30] I thought he cleared the slate.
[15:31] Yes, that's very true.
[15:33] And he did.
[15:35] You can't be judged for that.
[15:38] But Paul is very clear that we will still
[15:41] give an account for our life.
[15:43] And in that account, there is maybe--
[15:48] and then there's, for those who did well in areas,
[15:51] there's reward.
[15:52] For those who didn't, you're still going to heaven.
[15:54] God still loves you.
[15:55] Christ still finished the work.
[15:57] I don't want you guys to be like, oh, man, Jesus died.
[16:01] Did he cover my sins or not?
[16:02] No, he didn't.
[16:04] But we are still going to give an account for every idle word.
[16:06] And that alone should cause us to-- remember on Easter,
[16:10] I said, man, what we don't do much anymore is meditation.
[16:14] And I don't mean this kind of meditation.
[16:17] I mean meditating on the Word of God.
[16:21] You want to meditate on this something this week?
[16:23] Meditate on that.
[16:24] Meditate on Matthew 12, 36 and this passage
[16:26] that we're reading today, James 3.
[16:29] Every idle word will be brought into judgment, Jesus says.
[16:32] Those things that you've said to your closest friend, your spouse,
[16:39] things that you've written in your diary,
[16:44] every mean-spirited thing you've said, every gossip you've uttered.
[16:47] And there's no safe spaces.
[16:51] It's not like, well, I said it.
[16:53] It's just between my wife and I.
[16:55] No, it doesn't matter.
[16:59] Because no matter who you say it to, it still indicates your heart.
[17:03] Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
[17:05] And so that's one reason.
[17:10] That's one thing I think James is saying with this.
[17:13] And Jesus together.
[17:15] But the other thing is this.
[17:17] I think James is also giving a warning to people.
[17:20] And Jesus is giving a warning to people.
[17:22] For some of us, our words will reveal something way worse.
[17:30] They'll reveal that we don't know Jesus at all.
[17:35] That we've never put our faith in Jesus.
[17:37] We learn maybe to act the part.
[17:43] Maybe we've done well, come to church.
[17:45] Maybe we do all the Christian thing and we get involved and read our Bibles.
[17:50] We memorize verses.
[17:52] But our words have never changed.
[17:54] We may have filtered them in certain areas.
[17:57] Right here, we don't know that it's going to work.
[18:01] You're a drunken sailor.
[18:03] To your wife, to your husband, you're a meaner than a hornet's nest.
[18:13] And maybe James is saying, listen.
[18:17] And he says, you can't be both, right?
[18:19] Does a fig tree bear olives?
[18:26] Does a Christian speak nasty words?
[18:29] Does a grapevine produce figs?
[18:36] Does a Christian look to hurt people with their words?
[18:42] And so you have two things to think about, to meditate on.
[18:45] You have the fact that our words, our idle words will be judged.
[18:49] We'll stand before a holy God and give an account.
[18:55] And maybe it's worse than that for you, right?
[19:03] Because what we have said with our mouth may indicate that our hearts have never
[19:08] really changed.
[19:13] So let me ask you a question.
[19:16] Do you speak about others?
[19:18] When do you speak about others?
[19:22] What pours out?
[19:25] Does grace pour out?
[19:27] Does mercy pour out?
[19:28] Does love pour out?
[19:31] Does someone-- do your words, your words, sound like someone who has been infused
[19:39] and changed by the gospel of Jesus?
[19:42] Or does it sound like maybe what you say you believe is a sham?
[19:51] And I'm not here to question people's heart.
[19:58] I'm just saying what I-- we're just looking at what James is saying
[20:02] and what Jesus has said.
[20:03] And I want us to think about it.
[20:10] James has been a hard book, right?
[20:11] Every week, feel like we're getting hammered, right?
[20:14] Hey, James, cut us some slack, right?
[20:19] But I mean, isn't it loving to give us a warning like that?
[20:23] Just say, hey, be careful.
[20:28] Your words indicate your heart.
[20:33] Your words indicate your heart.
[20:35] And so what is your heart saying?
[20:36] I think some things that we can do as we look like, OK, well, that's great.
[20:49] But I know that I put my faith in Christ.
[20:51] And I know that I've struggled in this area, right?
[20:55] So then what?
[20:57] I think we go back to, like, what are some things that we can practically take?
[21:01] And I think a couple of things is this, right?
[21:04] James 1, 19, remember when we talked about this?
[21:06] Two weeks ago.
[21:07] Everyone should be what?
[21:08] Quick to what?
[21:10] Listen, slow to what?
[21:12] Slow to speak?
[21:14] Quick to listen and slow to speak?
[21:18] When you're slow to speak and quick to listen,
[21:20] you'll find that your words hurt less people because you don't speak it.
[21:26] Psalm 10, 10--
[21:28] Proverbs 10, 19 says this, "Too much talk--"
[21:32] This is the N-L-T-V-E, which is great.
[21:36] "Too much talk leads to sin."
[21:38] But be sensible and keep your mouth shut.
[21:40] All right?
[21:44] "Too much talk leads to sin."
[21:48] And so I would go back to James 1.
[21:50] Now, some of you say, well, I don't speak much.
[21:56] Maybe you're quiet, you're introverted, you don't like to speak.
[21:58] That doesn't mean that you listen well.
[22:01] All right?
[22:03] James says, quick to listen, slow to speak.
[22:08] You ever talk to people and you can just tell they're not listening to you?
[22:10] They're not talking to you, they're not saying much.
[22:13] But they're not listening either.
[22:15] Yeah?
[22:16] You were right, and you were like, yeah, what?
[22:20] Right?
[22:22] Slow to speak, yes.
[22:26] But quick to listen.
[22:28] How about slow to criticize?
[22:31] Oh, that's an easy one, all right.
[22:32] It's not easy to do it.
[22:34] Easy to say.
[22:36] How about slow to criticize your spouse?
[22:44] How about slow to criticize your kids?
[22:48] How about be slow to anger?
[22:52] Be slow to speak in your anger.
[22:54] All right?
[22:55] That includes, by the way, social media and emails, all right?
[22:58] All right, well, we like to talk about it, especially, you know, like, it's a big thing
[23:02] to subtweet some, meaning, like, you know, you're not really saying it, you don't want
[23:05] to say what's really bothering you, so you kind of put this cryptic words out there that
[23:11] you're angry about, or somebody did something to you, so you want to kind of say what happened.
[23:17] Slow to speak.
[23:18] And then I have loved this one.
[23:21] People say, well, I'm just speaking the truth, you hear that?
[23:25] I'm just speaking the truth as they, you know, criticize and say things that are not right
[23:31] to somebody.
[23:32] And I heard a pastor say this, and I thought this was great.
[23:36] The fact that something is true does not demand its repetition.
[23:40] We need to ask not only is it true, because it's important if it's true, but is it kind?
[23:47] And is it necessary?
[23:50] And if it isn't, forget it.
[23:55] The fact that something is true does not demand its repetition.
[23:58] We need to ask not only is it true, but is it kind?
[24:00] And is it necessary?
[24:01] And if it isn't, then forget it.
[24:03] That's a tough one, right?
[24:05] Yeah, I'm just speaking truth.
[24:09] That goes along with my other thing, right, when people say, hey, it's just the way I
[24:12] am.
[24:13] You ever get that?
[24:14] They'll rattle off a hole, you know, and they're like, you're like, oh, dude, you're all right?
[24:19] Like, you know, nasty things or whatever, yeah, it's just the way I am.
[24:24] But you claim Christ, and Christ put a new heart in you, if you did, if Christ, if you
[24:30] are truly saved, right, those aren't excuses.
[24:35] James says, listen, you can't, you can't be both.
[24:41] I give an example of this, this whole idea of be slow to speak, quicker to listen, and
[24:47] then, you know, kind of how we do that.
[24:50] So you know me by now, you know, I love, I love church, I love our church, I love the
[24:54] church.
[24:55] I hate when people miss for long periods of time, right?
[24:59] I hate when people miss a church, I'm not saying that, but hey, why?
[25:02] If you miss for weeks, why?
[25:05] Because we're a body of Christ.
[25:07] Now, when somebody misses, it hurts the body.
[25:10] It hurts the main body, and it hurts the body that's not here.
[25:14] And so, and when I say I hate it, I don't hate the people that miss, I just hate the
[25:19] idea of, like, it's not being important.
[25:21] And so, I'm like, it's the body of Christ, and Christ demands it's important.
[25:26] Now, so somebody misses six weeks, and they come back.
[25:29] I could say, truth would be like, hey, you missed six weeks, you're part of the body.
[25:34] Where the heck were you?
[25:35] Right?
[25:36] That's truth.
[25:37] But is it kind, and is it necessary?
[25:42] No, and no.
[25:46] Or I could say to somebody who missed six weeks, hey, we have so missed you.
[25:52] I'm so glad you're here.
[25:55] How about that?
[25:57] Because they know that I know that they missed six weeks.
[26:02] Not that they've missed six weeks, but I'm just saying, I'm going to choose every example,
[26:06] right?
[26:07] So I don't know, why do I have to bring it up?
[26:09] Why not just say, hey, we missed you?
[26:12] Is everything okay?
[26:13] You know, is there anything I can do for you to see the difference?
[26:18] I've had to learn that, still learning it.
[26:20] Because my first reaction sometimes is just going, it's not that hard, just be here, all
[26:25] right?
[26:26] What's your problem?
[26:27] And people are like, okay, I hate you, you're mean, I don't know.
[26:35] So be slow to speak, be quick to listen.
[26:41] Use words that build others up, including your spouse, including your kids.
[26:50] I was in a study once, a Bible study, and the pastor said, and it had a tremendous effect
[26:56] on my life.
[26:57] I was very harsh with my kids when they were young.
[26:58] And you can ask them, they'll tell you all about, and they won't hold back, okay?
[27:03] So I use a lot of harsh words with my kids.
[27:08] And I'll never forget, one of the things that started me on the change, it changed my heart,
[27:15] right?
[27:16] The guy used this pastor, and the pastor said, tell your kids these three things often, and
[27:20] if you don't, you are failing.
[27:22] He said, tell them that you love them, tell them that you're proud of them, and tell them
[27:29] what they're good at.
[27:30] And what you enjoy watching them do because they're good at it, or what you notice that
[27:34] they're good at.
[27:35] And so it took me some time, and it, you know, I'm probably better at it now that all of
[27:40] my kids are adults, than when they were kids, and they were like, yeah dad, too late.
[27:45] But like I still remember that, that was years and years ago, my kids were, look, Ephesians
[27:53] 4.29 says this, listen, do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, right?
[27:59] So that's command.
[28:01] But only, not, but some, but only what is helpful for building others up according to the needs
[28:08] that may benefit those who listen.
[28:12] But only what is helpful, not unwholesome talk, but helpful talk, building others up.
[28:19] So before you yell at your spouse, because they didn't do something that you thought
[28:23] they should do, or said something you didn't think they should say, is it helpful in building
[28:32] your spouse up?
[28:35] Is it kind?
[28:38] Is it necessary?
[28:39] And I'm sorry, I'm using the spousal, it's with our kids too, it's with our friendships,
[28:45] it's with our parents, it's all of it.
[28:51] Because many times, when I had been out with friends, and it had become, as you're sitting
[28:58] there, and I'm sure some of you have done this, you go out with a friend, and you're
[29:01] having lunch or whatever, dinner without one on one, and they start to bash their spouse.
[29:06] And you're like, awkward, right, but I don't feel that way about my spouse, and now this
[29:13] person is just going on and on about how this spouse does this, and doesn't do this, and
[29:16] says this, and doesn't work, and you're just sitting there going, don't do that, don't do
[29:29] that.
[29:30] Is it true?
[29:31] Is it kind?
[29:32] Is it necessary?
[29:33] Those are the things.
[29:34] You want to talk to your spouse, you want to talk to your kids, I'll say those things.
[29:39] The huge words that build others up, how about this, be quick to say I'm sorry, be quick
[29:51] to say I'm sorry, I screwed up, I shouldn't have said that, I'm really sorry.
[30:00] How many times, let me ask you guys, how many times have you said you're sorry dad in front
[30:05] of your kids, to your wife?
[30:10] How many times have you said you're sorry to your kids, parents, that's a big one.
[30:17] Parents who don't, kids who don't ever see you apologize, won't learn how to apologize.
[30:26] There's healing, think about this, there are healing in the words, I'm so sorry.
[30:34] And kids, tell your parents you're sorry, when you screw up, don't be stubborn, parents
[30:42] tell you, don't be stubborn, just say yeah, I was wrong, I'm sorry.
[30:50] I think there's so much healing in those words when they're true, when they're real.
[30:57] I was reading a story about a son, and it's a true story, about a son who was going to
[31:05] college, he was 18 and him and his dad were having a strong disagreement about some courses
[31:09] he should take, and the son said to dad, what do you know dad, you've worked in a factory
[31:16] your whole life, nothing was said, dad just walked away, son just walked away, never talked
[31:25] about it again.
[31:27] He goes to college, he graduates from college, gets married, kids years later, God convicts
[31:34] him of those words, the son, he calls his dad, he said dad, remember when I said you're
[31:41] just a factory worker, his dad just broke down in tears, years later, yeah son I remember,
[31:49] I'm so sorry dad, he said you are one of the smartest men I know, you've raised me to be
[31:56] a man, to be married, to have kids, you know more than almost anybody I know, and the healing
[32:04] that came from that years later, mattered, right, the son was convicted, didn't go, well
[32:10] that was 15, 20 years ago, who cares, I just wanted to ask you, is there somebody in your
[32:17] life where you could use your tongue in the sense of saying, I'm sorry, and maybe it's
[32:23] been years, you've let it go by but you know, it's still there, man can I encourage you
[32:31] today to say man, make that call, and say remember that time I said this, I would put
[32:39] it at a 90.9.9% that they remember, a change hard as one who will say I was wrong and I
[32:49] am so very sorry, I often hear nowadays, right, a lot of parents, a lot of kids talk about
[32:58] their parents, little kids, right, and they talk like neat about their parents, in front
[33:04] of their parents, alright, I was with some friends not too long ago, and one of their
[33:12] kids, they have some kids, one of their kids said, in front of their mom, mom why are you
[33:19] so fat? I was like, man, if that was one of my kids, you wouldn't be lying. I was talking
[33:35] to the parents later on and I just said, man what, like really, I don't want to be in your
[33:42] business, but that seems pretty harsh, right, should that really be spoken, yeah we're just
[33:47] joking around, you know, we just joke around like that, don't do that, don't joke around
[33:56] at your spouse's expense to your kids, and if they should make a mistake and say something
[34:03] like that to your spouse, correct them, right, because how will they learn how to control
[34:10] the tongue, how will they learn how to speak less and listen more, right, and ultimately
[34:19] it's a hard issue, right, you want to make fun of your spouse, you find that funny, you
[34:25] want to make fun of your kids, you find that funny, you want to make fun of your friends,
[34:28] find that funny, I mean obviously there is joking around, and I get that, you know, people
[34:32] have a good time and I'm not trying to listen, I think it's, you know, Lori always tells
[34:36] me you're not funny, I think I'm a lawyer, you're not funny, and I'm like, yeah but I'm
[34:41] not, and she goes, she goes, she likes to pick on people, I'm like, yeah okay, but that's
[34:45] funny, and she's like, that's not funny, but I'm saying like, obviously we joke around
[34:52] like that, and sometimes she doesn't find it funny, and she's probably right, she is right,
[34:57] but how about when we're joking around with our spouse and our kids here and then they
[34:59] pick up on it, is that funny? If they're now making fun of our spouse, that's not funny.
[35:14] You know, last week we talked about faith and works, and this message really is just
[35:19] a continuation of that, you truly say that you're a Christ follower, then what do your
[35:24] words look like? Are they sprinkled with grace and mercy and love? Are they harsh and mean
[35:33] and derogatory? What kind of words will you speak today, tonight, this week? If you call
[35:44] yourself a Christ follower, you must build up, you must, it's command. Do not let any
[35:51] of our unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others
[35:56] up according to their needs. Convicting, let me tell you, I tell you this often, because
[36:03] this is true in James, I really feel like the whole book, I shouldn't be teaching, somebody
[36:07] else should be teaching, but nobody volunteered, so it's always me, but I like, every week
[36:12] I'm like, really? Seriously? It's getting worse, alright? Faith and works, right? Call yourself
[36:22] a Christ follower, you must build up, you must encourage, you must season your words
[36:26] with grace and mercy. One of my favorite songs, I'm going to wrap up with one of my favorite
[36:32] Psalms in Psalm 19. Love that chapter. I have meditated on Psalm 19 often. Verse 14 says
[36:42] this, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O
[36:53] Lord, my rock and my redeemer." See how the Psalmist ties both together? "Let the words
[37:01] of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock
[37:09] and my redeemer." Man, church, alright, let us be this, right? Let us be that, let that
[37:17] be our prayer. In the morning when we wake up, at night when we go to bed, as you prayed
[37:24] throughout the day, you prayed that, O Lord, let the words of my mouth and the meditation
[37:30] of my heart be acceptable to you, O God, my rock and my redeemer. If we are Christ's
[37:41] followers, then we should want nothing less than that. And I know it's hard, man, this
[37:49] message is hard. James says, "The tongue is a fire." So how will we use it this week?
[37:59] How will you use it next week? Will you forget? In a month. That's why I say pray this prayer
[38:06] every day. Psalm 19.14, Psalm 19.14, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of
[38:17] my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." When we get to that
[38:26] point, when we are sprinkling conversations that are acceptable to God, He's pleased with
[38:32] our conversation. He is pleased with what we have to say. And we can say, yes, Lord, you
[38:42] truly have changed my heart. Let's speak words of grace and mercy and kindness this week.
[38:49] Father, just thank you for this passage. It's hard. It's not fun to read. It's not fun to meditate
[38:58] over it. Father, it is truth. It is the only truth, your truth, where we like to speak,
[39:09] Father. We don't like when people don't agree with us. We don't like when people have negative
[39:15] things to say. We want to get even. We want to get back. We want to make sure people know
[39:20] how angry we are and what we truly think about them. Father, please, we ask you that for a
[39:30] church, for each of us, and for our church as a whole, that our words of our mouth and
[39:36] the meditation of our heart would be acceptable to you, Lord. Convict us, Lord, on this. Please,
[39:45] help us. When we are weak, it almost seems like it's not even possible. When we know,
[39:53] Father, with your spirit, we can do it. Help us, Lord, please. Not just in the weeks to
[40:01] come, but today, in the next hour, in the next hour, Lord. Help us. As we eat together, Father,
[40:11] we just thank you for the opportunity, the gorgeous day and the food that you supply.
[40:15] Thank you for your grace and mercy, Lord. But you pour out some grace and mercy. How can
[40:25] we not give it in our speech? How can we not give it to others? Father, help us to meditate on that.
[40:36] We love you. And Jesus never prayed. Amen. Thanks, everybody. I hope you have a good
[40:41] week. And please meditate on that this weekend. Be thinking about that. We love you.